I know I don’t really write on here, well, ever, but since the inspiration struck me, I shall.
I’m currently in a relationship now, and things are actually going pretty well. He’s a former Jehovah’s Witness, loves a good beer and he’s got amazing eyes that change from green to blue. He’s hilarious, in a perverted, crazy-yet-insanely-intelligent way. He was rich for awhile, then lost it all, now he’s in the lower-middle-class bracket. He was also previously married, with her for 6 years.
Yeah, that’s the part that scares me a bit. From what he says, it wasn’t a good marriage at all. There was lying, long-term cheating (on her part), and she even cost him a job and a friend. But he was with her so long, in a bad relationship. I’m afraid that has turned him to the Dark Side; he may decide to never marry again. As for me, I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I want to get married someday. I want someone to make that permanent commitment to me. I know part of it is because it would mean they couldn’t just leave me, like others have done. Almost a guarantee to try and work things out. The other is because I know if I’m going to marry someone, that’s it for me. It scares me that he might just want to only be my “boyfriend.” It’s too early in the relationship for me to be asking about what he would want to do, though, and I don’t want to drive him away. But at the same time, I don’t want to spend years and years with someone, only to have them not want to commit and just out-of-the-blue say “Oh, by the way, I’m leaving you now. Peace!” I’m the kind of person that will commit to the person I’m with (as in, once we’re exclusive) and not cheat/flirt with anyone else.
I’m pretty sure I’m over-thinking this…
…as evidenced by the fact that’s only been half a year with him and I’m already contemplating this shit.
But on a lighter note, if all goes well and we’re happily married in ten years, I’d be the Second Wife (yes, that called for capitalization!) He mentioned in a conversation “…I’m happy I got the first marriage out of the way, that means the next person I marry will be the One.” So, I could be that. It’s kind of funny to think about, because I know I wouldn’t even have to try very hard and I’ll be a better wife than the EW (Ex Whore, err, I mean, Wife.) I’d just, you know, not sleep around on him. And for me, that will be a piece of cake. He’s too awesome to want to be with anyone else. If I could, I would eat lasagna all day, everyday. (I tried once, but other people in the house wouldn’t put up with my shenanigans.) He’s my lasagna; my over-six-and-a-half-feet-tall lasagna. Too good to want anything else.
Hmm, you know, I think I’ll just try my hardest to enjoy what we have now. I’m 22 years old, for Time Lord’s sake! I can afford to waste a few years, if this heads south. I have to just luxuriate in the lasagna I’m having now, and not worry about if there’s going to be enough to last. Occupare lasagna! ;P (Seize the Lasagna, for all you non-latin people out there.)